S.T. L.

If he’d seen the evil I’ve seen, he’d understand why some people deserve to die

ME: We really need to see each other again. Texting sucks.

LANA: I agree. My fingers are getting cramps.

ME: Anything going on in two days? I have no breakfast plans.

LANA: Two days from now I’ll be in West Virginia. What about tomorrow?

ME: Can’t. I have to fly up to Boston for a quick briefing. I’ll be back tomorrow night, but I have too much work to finish up with. It’ll be well after midnight before I leave. IF I leave.

LANA: So, texting is fun, huh?

LOGAN: Craig just asked if you were gay.

ME: Who’s Craig?

LOGAN: You have no idea how much I enjoy that answer. In fact, I just drew a few curious looks about why I’m laughing.

I have no clue why he finds that so funny.

ME: Seriously, who’s Craig?

LOGAN: I really want to see you again.

ME: Well, let’s just both quit our jobs so we can finally have a date.

LOGAN: With the dead ends I’m finding on all my cases, I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t time for a career change.

ME: If it makes you feel any better, I contemplated a career change too. Met a guy yesterday who was trading all his wife’s dildos for a pressure washer. -.-  The wife was furious when I showed up to inspect the quality of her “toys.”

At least that’s true. I hate the times I have to lie to him.

LOGAN: I just spat coffee all over my desk.

ME: How coincidental. She was apparently a spitter too. The husband informed me of that as if I wanted to know. #overshare

LOGAN: Stop. Please stop. Everyone here thinks I’m insane for laughing this hard.

ME: It wasn’t the most awkward encounter I’ve had, but it certainly won’t make any of my highlight reels either.

LOGAN: So the dildos didn’t get traded for the pressure washer?

ME: Nope. And I learned that she’ll need them more than ever, since he won’t be touching her for a while, according to her. He wasn’t happy when I left. Apparently it was my fault for showing up an hour early, because she would have been gone otherwise.

LOGAN: Okay. You win. I can’t compete with that.

ME: #LifeGoals

LOGAN: Do you always go to the coffee shop where I met you?

ME: Umm…that’s an abrupt shift in convo, but yes, I do. I moved here a little over a month ago, and that was the first decent cup I found.

LOGAN: Then I wish I had stopped there sooner than that day. I had some downtime two weeks earlier. We could have been doing this in person then.

ME: You don’t always go there?

LOGAN: That was my first time. Craig and I went to address some of the higher-ups about some security measures. We only stopped in that day because our regular spot was closed for renovations.

ME: Oh THAT’s Craig!

LOGAN: You seriously didn’t remember his name?

ME: I only retain the names of people I like or want to kill.

I cringe when I read that back, realizing that’s not a good joke—even though it’s true—to make to a FBI agent.

LOGAN: Hope I’m on the right list.

I blow out a breath, then smile at the morbid joke, now that I know he’s not taking it seriously.

ME: You are. Currently, you’re at the top of the right list. It’s been a while since I smiled like I do when we talk.

LOGAN: I should have kissed you.

My heart thumps in my chest as I read that back. Then I read it again. And again. And again.