Part of separating from your mother and childhood is ridding yourself of negative self-talk, such as, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable,” “I can’t trust myself.” Because you have internalized these messages, they speak to you now as your mother once did. Decide for yourself what those messages say, block them out, and override them. As you do this, you separate in a healthy way from your dysfunctional mother and her self-defeating belief system. You will recognize yourself as an individual woman.