John Karter

Giving and receiving love/affection/intimacy
Curing loneliness
Companionship
Security
Having children
Sexual fulfilment
Complying with pressure from society/parents/media
Validation of self
Power and control
Personal growth

Make a list of the needs you had when you entered into your current or most recent relationship. Try to be as honest as you can with yourself.
• How many of those needs have been met either in full or in part?
• How many of them have not been met at all?
• During the course of the relationship, have you recognized new needs and/or discarded some of the original ones?
• What do you think your partner’s needs were/are? Do you think he/she feels those needs have been met?

I complete me. I just got lucky that, after I completed myself, I met someone who could tolerate me.

Often when we choose a partner we recognize the anima or animus in the other person and are attracted to it as a way of reclaiming that ‘lost’ part of ourselves.

‘The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness’.

All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.

Love is my religion

And I could die for that.

I could die for you.

whereby an experience from the past is ‘transferred’ to the present

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship’

The more you are able to gain insight into the hidden agendas, feelings and unspoken communications, and uncover what is really happening between the two of you, the better placed you will be to deal with conflict, change negative and destructive patterns of relating that eat away at the fabric of the relationship, and bring those vital qualities of mutual nurture, respect and genuine love into play.