Kathleen Glasgow

The world becomes an ocean, the ocean washes over me, the sound of water is deafening, the water drowns my heart, my panic becomes as large as planets. I need release, I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.

I’m so lonely in the world I want to peel all of my flesh off and walk, just bone and gristle, straight into the river, to be swallowed, just like my father.

Even when she is completely still, you know there is a lot happening inside her body, and that it’s not good.

sometimes I miss my mother, even though missing her feels more like anger than sadness,

The cereal is eating me. The cereal is eating me alive.

I’m scared, because I don’t know how to be with people, but I don’t know how to be alone, either,

I just don’t think I matter.

I’m tired and angry at me. For letting myself get smaller and smaller in the hopes that he would notice me more. But how can someone notice you if you keep getting smaller?

I mean, we spent so much time wasted back home, do you realize that? We were fucked up all the time.”

“I know. Some of it was fun, though.” I smile.

“Yeah, but sometimes you have to let stuff go if you want to move forward, you know?

I need to hurt myself more than the world can hurt me, and then I can comfort myself.