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The official bio is:"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education."What all that means, really, is that I am here to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. It's a small goal in the grand scheme of things - I'm not trying to bring peace to the Middle East or repair the ozone layer - but it's a goal that I think truly does have the power to change lives and, ultimately, the world.You can find me online: Twitter @enagoski Facebook Emily NagoskiMedium @emilynagoskiBlog
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It doesn’t help either you or your Feels if you shove them in your partner’s face and say, “ACCEPT THIS!” How would you respond if your partner did that to you? Unless you’re a saint of unrivaled patience and tolerance, you would get defensive—and fair enough. Shoving your Feels in your partner’s face is using your feelings as a weapon, and that’s never okay
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But genital response isn’t enjoying. It’s expecting.
Your genitals are telling you something, and you can trust them. They’re telling you that something is sexually relevant, based on their experience of Pavlovian conditioning. “This a restaurant.” But that’s not the same as sexually appealing.
Do, absolutely, trust your body. And interpret its signals accurately.
Genital response, which happens between your legs, is expecting. Arousal, which happens between your ears, includes enjoying.
Your genitals are telling you something, and you can trust them. They’re telling you that something is sexually relevant, based on their experience of Pavlovian conditioning. “This a restaurant.” But that’s not the same as sexually appealing.
Do, absolutely, trust your body. And interpret its signals accurately.
Genital response, which happens between your legs, is expecting. Arousal, which happens between your ears, includes enjoying.
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A penis in a vagina is sexually relevant, though it may be unappealing, unwanted, and unwelcome. There is no wanting necessary for genital response. It’s just, “This is a restaurant,” with no comment on whether it might be a good place to have dinner.
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