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Julia Dixon Evans

How to Set Yourself on Fire

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  • Ana-Maria Deachar citeretfor 3 år siden
    There’s a line on the first page I trace over with my fingers so often that the paper has started to bunch and fray, little specs of worn-down pulp as clingy pieces of papery lint.

    There’s a line on the second page that I wish I could never read again. It has no pulpy lint.

    There’s a line on the third page that I’ve copied out thirty times and counting in my own handwriting in a small book: “ You and I were able to briefly be the most beautiful thing in the world, the kind of beauty that without you, I would never know existed,” I wrote. He wrote. I wondered what it was like to know something so incomprehensible.
  • Ana-Maria Deachar citeretfor 3 år siden
    It’s not supposed to have been three years since I was happy. I almost don’t remember it. I almost don’t believe I ever was.
  • kotaricaahar citeretfor 4 år siden
    This is why I don’t have friends. This is why I stopped having friends. This is why it’s not worth it. Nobody is ever worth getting close to if I second guess myself all the time
  • wotchohar citeretfor 4 år siden
    watching him leave the house, that I saw him drop the letter.
  • wotchohar citeretfor 4 år siden
    We’d like to write it out to him in advance so he has no choice but to take it.
  • wotchohar citeretfor 4 år siden
    The shoebox sits untouched on my coffee table.
  • Ekaterina Bolbukhhar citeretfor 4 år siden
    want to egg her on
  • asasiprhar citeretfor 4 år siden
    Rather than longing to feel something so powerful myself, I mostly just wished someone felt that way about me. I didn’t feel any shame that I didn’t necessarily wish to feel that way too.
  • asasiprhar citeretfor 4 år siden
    I don’t know if that distance was me or her.
  • asasiprhar citeretfor 5 år siden
    I wonder what the ants know that I don’t.
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