TJ Klune

How to Be a Normal Person

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Gustavo Tiberius is not normal. He knows this. Everyone in his small town of Abby, Oregon, knows this. He reads encyclopedias every night before bed. He has a pet ferret called Harry S. Truman. He owns a video rental store that no one goes to. His closest friends are a lady named Lottie with drag queen hair and a trio of elderly Vespa riders known as the We Three Queens.
Gus is not normal. And he’s fine with that. All he wants is to be left alone.
Until Casey, an asexual stoner hipster and the newest employee at Lottie’s Lattes, enters his life. For some reason, Casey thinks Gus is the greatest thing ever. And maybe Gus is starting to think the same thing about Casey, even if Casey is obsessive about Instagramming his food.
But Gus isn’t normal and Casey deserves someone who can be. Suddenly wanting to be that someone, Gus steps out of his comfort zone and plans to become the most normal person ever.
After all, what could possibly go wrong?
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  • namjoons lasttiddiehar citeretfor 3 år siden
    But Gus knew. Gus knew right away what was going on. “Oh no,” he whispered in a blind panic. “It’s the if-you-hurt-him-best-friend speech. Of doom
  • namjoons lasttiddiehar citeretfor 3 år siden
    Gus said, “Nah, man. It’s cool. I just tripped and fell on my face. Okay, that was a lie. He kissed me. And it was nice. But before that, we got stoned. I’m stoned right now. I’m so stoned. And then we played Scrabble and I couldn’t make up good words because of the fucking vowels, and then he spelled out words that were probably the most romantic thing ever and he kissed me and it was nice and I really forgot how much more I talk when I’m stoned and have the inability to lie about anything whatsoever. So. Let’s all pretend that I haven’t said a single word and now I can’t stop thinking about pizza, for fuck’s sake. Would it have killed you to bring a pizza when you came over and knocked on my door, oh my god.”
  • namjoons lasttiddiehar citeretfor 3 år siden
    So then he started crying and I started crying and everyone else started crying and we were all crying because of fucking Darth Vader, man
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