Home Body

the love of family

friends and community

is just as potent

as the love

of a romantic relationship

i don’t need fixing

i will be searching for answers my whole life

not because i’m a half-formed thing

but because i’m brilliant enough to keep growing

everything necessary to live a vivid life

already exists in me

most of my life has been spent

with the two of us touching

skin to skin

our nights together

and sometimes our days

you carried me when my limbs refused to

when i was so sick i could not move

not once did you tire of my weight

not once did you complain

you’ve witnessed all my dreams

my sex

my writing

my weeping

every vulnerable act of my life

has been with you

the two of us knee-deep in laughter

and when i’ve been a fool to trust a fool

made love on top of you

left for days only to

return empty-handed

you always took me back

when sleep abandoned me

we lay awake together

you are the embrace of my life

my confessional

my altar

i went from girl to woman on top of you

and in the end

it will be you—old friend

delivering me to death well rested

- there is no place more intimate than a bed

you didn’t lose it

happiness has always been here

- you just lost perspective

there is nothing wrong with you

this is growth

this is transformation

protecting yourself

getting lost in the noise

figuring it out

feeling used

uncared for

losing hope

burning out

this is fear

this is processing

this is surviving

this is being alive

- journey

anxiety feels like i’m hanging
off the side of a building
and my hand is going to
slip any second
how can i be so
cruel to myself
when i’m doing the best i can
- be gentle
list of things to heal your mood:
1) cry it. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it
out of your body.
2) if after all that

you are not alone
alone would be if
your heart no longer beat
and your lungs no longer pulled
and your breath no longer pushed
how are you alone if
an entire community lives in you
- you have all of you on your side

if the devil hadn’t
pushed you into a corner
and forced you to break its neck
how would you have known
you were this strong

why escape yourself
when you are so beautiful
get closer to your shine

you’re waiting for them
to make you feel like you’re enough
you’ll be waiting a long time

it’s no wonder
i don’t feel alive
i’m not living
in the only moment that’s real
- present