Not So Nice Guy

As Chandler would say, That would be perfection.

DAD: Son, it’s your father. I need my phone back. Please tell your mom you’ll call her back when you have a minute.

DAD: Also, what the hell are you waiting for?

DAD: Now I feel bad saying that. You’re cute too. Really.

DAD: Mom again. About the hair, your children would look good with your hair too, I would just really love a little girl who looks like Sam.

DAD: Can you even imagine? I hope the children get her hair!!!

DAD: At the Apple store! They’re replacing my screen. This is Mom by the way. Have you asked Sam out yet? Let me know how it goes! *confetti emoji* *heart-eyes emoji* *champagne emoji* *bride emoji* *groom emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

*baby emoji*

The next day, she won’t stop texting me.

“Oh, she will. Believe me, she’s going to say yes, and who knows?! By this time next year, I might have myself a daughter-in-law! AND GRANDBABIES!”

“She hasn’t said yes yet. In fact, I haven’t even asked her.”

“I’m just so happy. You two have been dancing around each other for years and I truly can’t imagine a more perfect woman for you.”