Isla and the Happily Ever After

“I can’t believe you were waiting out there this whole time.”

His teeth chatter. “I-I would have waited all night.”

“But you do now? Trust yourself?”

“I’m…getting there. I’m beginning to think that maybe it’s okay to be a blank canvas. Maybe it’s okay that my future is unknown. And maybe,” I say with another smile, “it’s okay to be inspired by the people who do know their future.”

“It goes both ways, you know.”

I link his icicle fingers through mine. “What does?”

“Artists are inspired by blank canvases.”

My smile grows wider.

“A blank canvas,” Josh continues, “has unlimited possibilities.”

She nods. “Yeah, Lola and Cricket. Étienne and I—”

“Étienne,” Josh says, and Meredith cracks up.

“They’re teasing me because I’m the only person who calls him that,” Anna explains.

“You’re the only person allowed to call him that,” Josh says. “You and his mom.”

St. Clair smiles. “The only two ladies I need.”

“So why don’t you think Josh loved you?”

“I felt like I was…a nice distraction. He was so unhappy here, you know?”

“Phones are distracting. The internet is distracting. The way he looked at you? He wasn’t distracted. He was consumed.”

That’s how I’m feeling about everything these days: ugh. No.

I think you’re afraid. I don’t know why – I don’t know what I could’ve said or done to make you distrust me – but for once in your life, Isla, take a risk. Take a fucking risk. If you keep playing it safe, you’ll never know who you are. I know who you are, and I love who you are. Why don’t you trust me?

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He sounds pained. “That’s the last thing I want. I was trying to protect you, I was trying to keep you in the good part of my life.”

“But I want to be in all of it. Ugly parts included.”

“You sure about that? Because I have a lot of ugly parts.”

“Everyone does.”

“Iloveyou!” I say.

“I love you, too.” Josh laughs in surprise. “Thanks for the enthusiasm.”

“I didn’t get to say it last time.”

“Ah, well. From now on” – and I hear his smile grow into a dimple-bearing grin – “let’s start with it.”

“I want a lot more of these nights with you, Isla. I want all of my nights with you.”

Brushing our teeth at the same sink. Do adults realize how lucky they are? Or do they forget that these small moments are actually small miracles? I don’t want to ever forget.