The Xenophobe's Guide to the English

he attitude of the English towards other nations is not so much xenophobia (fear of foreigners) as xenopili (pity for foreigners for having the misfortune to be, well, NOT English)

Bracing, parky, muggy, breezy, crisp, chilly, fresh – conditions are always understated by at least 10 degrees.

the English do not die, they ‘pass over’, ‘pass on’, ‘pop off’, ‘kick the bucket’, ‘give up the ghost’ or ‘snuff it’. When they need to relieve themselves they ‘spend a penny’, ‘wash their hands’, ‘answer the call’, ‘make use of the facilities’ or, simply, ‘go’.