You

it’s time for a Club Soda Test.

“

I let you win; you’re a girl. You’re allowed.

Your lips were made for mine, Beck. You are the reason I have a mouth, a heart.

If she were a dog, shooting her would be the humane thing to do.

You said bang and you said Joe and that has to mean something, it does.

you smell good, pure. I like this.

plant your sweet little buns

think Benji was a tough dude to date? Well, try having the same conversation over and over while Benji’s in the cage trying to dig his way to China. Yeah, you put up with his bullshit, Beck, but did you ever lock him in a cage and listen to him bellyache 24/7?

That’s the problem with this never-ending centipede of lemmings, Beck. You know they’re all pussies, each and every one of ’em. They buy these books to get scared because their lives are too easy. How pathetic is that?

Also, you’re not bangable, Beck. You’re beautiful.

There’s a difference.