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Peter Shaw

100 Great Coaching Ideas

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    When Sandra gave a non-committal response Helen, with a smile on her face said, “what might you like to learn over the next few weeks?!”
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    Use open-ended questions to allow someone to reflect on how they have responded to emotional pressures
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    Encourage people to see possibilities in every situation and always to be looking for the light at the end of the tunnel
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    The level of energy in a room and what raises it or lowers it
    • Your own level of energy and why that goes up or down
    • How best the energy of people in your organisation is maintained
    • Recognising when energy runs low in others and how best it is raised
    • Encouraging people to use energy levels as a barometer and be ready to switch activities to keep energy levels high
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    t factual evidence
    • Triangulate your perspective with that of others
    • Present the evidence openly to the individual
    • Focus the discussion on the evidence and on next steps
    • Try not to let your own emotions get in the way, while recognising the emotional reactions in the other person

    UNDERSTANDING AN INDIVIDUAL’S CHARACTERISTICS AND EMOTIONS

    THERE IS A risk that we think others will behave as we do. Understanding the world from their perspective is important if we are to improve their performance or enable them to move on with honour.
    The idea
    We are all unique. Everyone’s brain is different. Our rational and emotional makeup comes from a wide range of sources and is continuing to evolve. Thankfully we are not clones of each other.
    The use of personality profiles like Myers-Briggs has brought a much greater understanding about the preferences of different individuals. Understanding someone’s preferences helps bring an insight into how best to convey messages to them so they receive messages in a way that is productive and not destructive.
    Some people will absorb a message quickly and know how they are going to react to next steps. Others will need time to reflect and absorb before they will be ready to have a conversation about next steps.
    Learning about an individual’s family or cultural background can provide valuable insights into their values and personality. When we begin to understand the forces that have shaped someone we can more readily understand why they behave in the way they do. When an individual is reacting in a way which seems to us irrational, it is worth thinking yourself into their skin and trying to understand why they have reacted in the way they did.
    Sometimes it can be helpful to note down what you observe about someone, what brings out the best in them and what brings out the worst in them. Understanding their characteristics can help explain why they act in particular ways and whether it is you who need to make the accommodation, or whether their approach is fundamentally flawed in terms of delivering what is needed.
    As you understand someone’s characteristics more, you may conclude that they have much to offer if the role is reshaped, or if they move to another part of the organisation. Or you may conclude that this is not the type of organisation which is going to bring out the best in them and it is time for them to move on.
    Jeremy saw George’s behaviour as inactive and too slow. He encouraged George to talk about his background which was from a rural community where time did not move quickly. The team had recently done a personality profile which showed George to be a reflector rather than an activist. Jeremy observed George needing a lot of reassurance when it came to making decisions and not wanting to rush them.
    Jeremy recognised that he needed to demonstrate to George that he understood why he acted the way he did. He said to George that he recognised that George needed time to make decisions but encouraged him to set a timeframe by which he would make decisions and be active in taking forward his conclusions.
    In practice
    • Remind yourself of your own preferences and prejudices
    • Observe others with a sense of interest and curiosity rather than disapproval
    • Take time to build an understanding of the formative influences on someone’s approach
    • Pace conversations in a way that is compatible with an individual’s characteristics
    • Ensure that your message is direct and clear, while recognising how it will land, based on your understanding of the characteristics and preferences of the recipient of your message

    HAVING AN HONEST CONVERSATION

    YOUR EMOTIONS AND emotions of the other person may be getting in the way of ensuring clarity about next steps. What is important are honest conversations which are thoughtful, accurate, considerate and unambiguous.
    The idea
    We can get ourselves into the situation of feeling that if we are honest with somebody we are being unnecessarily cruel. But it is particularly cruel to someone to imply their performance is good and their prospects are bright when neither is true. Sometimes we have to be ‘cruel to be kind’.
    If someone’s performance is not good and needs to improve, and if their prospects are not good there is a duty of fairness to be clear. We have a choice about how we present these concerns to an individual. We can present in a tone that sounds dismissive and unsupportive. We can also be honest in the assessment while recognising why it has happened and being constructive about what might be the next steps.
    Creating the right context for an honest conversation is crucial. It needs to be in a private space with enough time for the individual to absorb what is being said. Feedback needs to be given in a way which allows for an emotional reaction and then time to work through to constructive next steps.
    An honest conversation does not mean brutal, insensitive, abrupt feedback, but it does mean that the message is clear with the individual being asked to say what they have heard and what are the next steps that they are planning to take. Honesty in conversation is about openness based on clear evidence. It is about the performance of the individual and not an attack on their personal characteristics.
    The more an honest conversation is based on evidence about current tasks, so it is depersonalised, the less threatening it is likely to be and the greater the prospect of a constructive outcome. When seeking to have an honest conversation with someone, it is right to ask yourself, are you being honest to yourself about the evidence and about the outcome you want to achieve? If it is time for someone to move on you may need to go outside your comfort zone and be frank and not wrap up your view in too many words.
    Jeremy knew that the time had come to have a frank and open conversation with George. He waited for key evidence to be available on the contracts he was working on. Drawing from this evidence he said to George that they needed to have a conversation about next steps with a date for that conversation being agreed a few days in advance. Jeremy was open about the facts and asked George what he saw as the options. When George was reluctant to talk, Jeremy set out various possibilities about increasing the contract delivery level, or moving to another area of work, or potentially looking for a role in another organisation.
    Jeremy put his concerns in a thoughtful and reflective way which George began to engage with. George opened up about some of the personal issues he was facing. It was clear that he wanted to stay in the organisation. George and Jeremy agreed some objectives going forward and agreed on the pattern of their forthcoming meetings. Jeremy was encouraged, but not convinced that significant progress would happen. Jeremy felt he had done the right thing in having an honest conversation and giving George another opportunity.
    In practice
    Be mindful of the importance of:
    • Having honest, open conversations based on as much evidence as possible
    • Creating the right type of space and timing for those conversations
    • Giving forewarning that you want to have that type of conversation
    • Creating an expectation among your staff that these type of conversations will happen
    • Focusing on what needs to be done and how the individual is going to make progress rather than attacking the individual
    • Ensuring there is agreement about next steps

    BUILDING CLARITY ABOUT OPTIONS GOING FORWARD

    THE MESSAGE ‘TRY harder’ is one we may want to give, but progress will be more likely if there is clarity about the options going forward and how best they can be achieved.
    The idea
    Inwardly you might be thinking, “if only this person pulled their socks up” and “tried harder”, all would be well. Our emotional reaction is often that the individual could do better if a magic wand touched them on the shoulder and they became a ‘better person’.
    But shouting at the individual either physically or metaphorically works with only a small proportion of people. Progress is much more likely to come through building a practical understanding of why things are as they are and what are the next steps. When the long distance walker is lost, the message, ‘try harder’ is not what is needed. The walker needs to look around and pick out landmarks. They need to look at the map and the compass to orientate where they are. The walker needs to think through what pathways it might be appropriate to take in order to reach their destination. Or perhaps they need to retrace their steps back to where they left the path.
    Building options with somebody going forward includes clarity about what needs to happen to become a good performer in the current role, and what the prospects are of a successful move to another role. The individual might also be encouraged to look at options externally, so they can use their experience in a different environment.
    Jeremy was increasingly clear that George needed to think seriously about a range of options. When George’s performance only increased marginally Jeremy said they needed to have a full discussion of future options. Jeremy was clear that he wanted to help George think them through options and provide whatever advice he could.
    Jeremy encouraged George to look at his strengths and see how he might deploy them in a range of different roles. He encouraged George to think through what he would find most fulfilling if he were to stay in the current part of the organisation or move elsewhere or move outside. At this point George was not being required to reach a final conclusion but he knew that Jeremy was serious that the current situation could not continue as it was.
    George recognised that he had to take the concerns of Jeremy seriously. For the first time he had to think about whether it might be better to move to another organisation. He looked again at his CV and updated it. He began to think into different roles in different organisations and identify what would give him satisfaction. He knew that he was not enjoying his current role and that recent results had been a wake-up call. It probably was right for him to move on although he did not intend to tell Jeremy this at the moment.
    In practice
    • There are often more options than you might initially think
    • Pressing someone to think through different options may initially be an unwelcome wake-up call, but later be regarded as a constructive turning point
    • Never be dismissive of someone as this will make your task and their task much harder in finding a constructive way forward
    • Look for the spark that will enable someone to be energised to take on a new type of activity
    • Believe that out of very difficult situations good can come both for the individual, you, and the wider organisation

    MAKING HARD DECISIONS

    A COACHING APPROACH does not remove the need for hard decisions. Sometimes a hard decision has to be made and implemented in a way that is decisive, clear, defensible and done in as compassionate a way as possible.
    The idea
    Bringing a coaching approach is designed to draw the best out of people. The aim is to enable the individual to think more clearly and act more decisively. But a coaching approach does not necessary lead to the right answer. Sometimes hard decisions need to be taken with finances cut, or structure changed, or products removed, or someone leaving the business.
    Thinking through the implications of a decision must be right but continued procrastination leads to uncertainty and a loss of momentum and energy. The good leader spends quite a bit of time thinking about the timing of their decisions so that they are fully informed, but they do not wait too long.
    The Crown Prosecutor needs to be collecting evidence, but if they leave a decision to prosecute for too long, witnesses will not be as readily available and the evidence may become less available.
    Taking hard decisions well is about combining clarity about the evidence with an intuitive sense of what is the right thing to do that draws from your previous experience and your values. Often there is a moment when you need to have the courage to say, “this is what we are going to do” and link it with effective communication about why you are taking that action. When individuals are involved and there is pain and loss of income there will inevitably be emotions that might well hold you back from making a hard decision.
    Using a coaching approach as a means of helping someone tackle an issue is an investment of your time and energy. When you feel that progress has been limited and you need to make a hard decision about someone’s future, there is a risk that you might feel resentful. But investment in their development will never be wasted, even though it might not have produced the productive outcome necessary to ensure success in that particular role.
    When a hard decision has been made and there has been a negative reaction to it, it is worth being clear with yourself about the reasons and the level of investment you put into the individual before reaching the point when a hard decision is needed. You can then ‘hold your head up high’ knowing that you had properly invested in the individual, and that you had been willing to make a hard decision when that became necessary.
    As George continued to make limited progress Jeremy knew that he had to make a firm decision. Jeremy had an open conversation with George about the evidence being unequivocal that this was the wrong role for him to be in. They talked through a couple of different options about working elsewhere in the organisation or leaving. Jeremy said that he was willing to give George a couple of months before putting him on a performance regime. This gave George the opportunity to face reality.
    George resigned before the two month period expired. He talked to trusted friends about his strengths and skills. He was going to take a break for a couple of months and then look for work in an interim management role. George did not like the conclusion that he needed to move on but thought that Jeremy had dealt with him fairly. He respected Jeremy’s decision and was not resentful about it.
    In practice
    • You have a responsibility to make decisions having considered the evidence
    • Making no decision is making a decision to let things drift
    • Flagging up that you need to make a decision within a certain period can help you prepare emotionally to make that hard decision
    • Talking through the evidence about why a decision needs to be made can help you prepare to make the decision
    • It is always worth thinking through if some coaching conversations could help you work through a hard decision to move somebody on
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    Articulate your expectations and do not just keep them in your head
    • Invite your people to play back to you what they see as your expectations, as their perception of what you want may be different to what you think you want
    • Be realistic about what expectations are clear and fixed, and what are likely to evol
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    rticulate your expectations and do not just keep them in your head
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    • See feedback as a gift
    • Invite feedback and then look as if they welcome receiving it
    • Recognise that the feedback will say as much about the giver of the feedback as the recipient
    • Sift the comments and be clear about what specific points you want to take forward
    • Recognise the best way of receiving and giving feedback
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    individual has reflected on the points you are making and has begun to work through their own next steps.
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    Just as important as ensuring that individuals receive clear feedback is setting the right context so that the feedback is heard in a constructive way. Using an experienced coach can make a difference in ensuring that feedback is used as a constructive basis for next steps rather than leading to diffidence and uncertainty that can undermine an individual’s contribution.
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