Destroy Me

I almost forget that she still hates me, despite how hard I’ve fallen for her.
And I’ve fallen.
So hard.
I’ve hit the ground. Gone right through it.

Swallow the tears back often enough and they'll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat. It's that terrible moment when you're sitting still so still so still because ye«-den-t-want-them-te-see-ye«u-ery you don't want to cry but your lips won't stop trembling and your eyes are filled to the brim with please and I beg you and please and I’m sorry and please and have mercy and maybe this time it'll be different but it’s always the same. There's no one to run to for comfort. No one on your side. Light a candle for me, | used to whisper to no one.

She put my hand in the fire once. Just to see if it would burn, she said. Just to check if it was a regular hand, she said. | was 6 years old then. I remember because it was my birthday. | knock the notebook to the floor. I’m upright in an instant, trying to steady my heart.

Because I want her.

Now.

Here.

Everywhere.

I want nothing between us.

I want her clothes off and the lights on and I want to study her. I want to unzip her out of this dress and take my time with every inch of her. I can’t help my need to just stare; to know her and her features: the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the line of her jaw. I want to run my fingertips across the soft skin of her neck and trace it all the way down. I want to feel the weight of her pressed against me, wrapped around me.

This girl is destroying me.

and the thought of her in pain is causing me an unbearable amount of agony.

Empathy is not an emotion I’ve ever known, but now it’s drowning me, pulling me into a world I never knew I could enter.

Swallow the tears back often enough and they’ll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat.

Swallow the tears back often enough and they’ll start feeling like acid dripping down your throat.