Til Death

nd the overwhelming need to claw at my own chest just to stop it, is driving me over the edge.

This isn’t how it was supposed to go.

I was never supposed to care.

The words I spat at her repeat over and over in my head as I fight the urge to drop to my knees and bellow in agony. She’ll never know what I just sacrificed. She’ll never know what I just gave her. She’ll never know that I just set her free.

“What the fuck have you done?”

Lifting my head, I see Mack standing in the doorway. I don’t know why he’s here. I don’t really care. He looks angry. I guess he would be. He knows everything. He knows about Katia. He knows why she’s with me. He knows what I’ll lose.

“I just heard what you said, what is wrong with you? Do you not see what you’ve just done? What the fuck could possibly possess you to give up everything you’ve worked for?”

“I gave her life back, her freedom...” I mutter, staring blankly. Emptiness rises higher and higher in my pathetic heart.

“I’m all for being the good guy, bud. Fuck, I like Katia...but you made a choice to save your business. You took action. You didn’t do that shit lightly. You fight for that. You fix it. You make it better. Sending her away without a fight means you’ll lose everything.”

I laugh, low and bitter. “You don’t fucking see it, do you, Mack? Even I can see it so clearly now.”

“See what?”

I turn and stare at the empty space, the space where my wife was standing only five minutes ago as I ripped her world apart.

“She was everything.”

“Leave. I don’t want you here. I don’t need you here. Get the fuck out of my house.”

I see unadulterated rage in his eyes, and his jaw is so tight I know he’s clenching his teeth together. I stare at him, truly look. Such a beautiful, fucked-up man. Such a waste of perfection. I push to my feet, even though my entire body is shaking. He wants me gone. I’ll go.

“I hope it burns,” I say, taking a step back. “I hope you see my face every time you lose something in your life. I hope one day you have your heart ripped out and crushed just like you did to mine, but most of all, Marcus Tandem, I hope to God someone makes you pay.”

Then I turn, lifting my purse and walking out. I step out of his world, and in doing so I leave this Katia behind. My soul is crushed. My heart is broken. I’m pathetic, and stupid, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. Heartache is something I know will become a part of my life that I’ll never be able to shake.

He destroyed me.

Right now, I can’t even breathe. Marcus took everything I was, and he crushed it. Everything I believed in was a lie. He ruined my life. He took from me. He broke my heart. He left me this pathetic, pitiful mess. I may have made a vow before God, that I would love him and cherish him until death do we part.

I can’t keep that vow.

What is it they say?

There’s a fine line between love and hate.

There is.

**MARCUS**

I launch my fist into the countertop over and over, my entire body breaking into pieces as I watch her go. Blood trickles from my knuckles but it’s nothing compared to the pain in my heart. It’s a foreign emotion, something I’ve never felt, but it tears through me, ripping my soul to shreds. My heart feels like it’s going to explode

fuck is wrong with you? You destroyed me. You took my heart and you have shattered it.”

Something comes across his face, something horrific. I watch him suck any emotion he’s felt for me during the past few weeks back behind his wall of cold, heartless emotion. He’s gone. He’s fucking gone. He takes a step forward, leans down and hisses, “You didn’t think you ever fucking mattered, did you, Katia?”

And just like that, my world comes crashing down. I’m a joke. He never loved me. He never even liked me. I was just a way to keep his business. A loud, pained cry leaves my throat as I stare up at the man I gave my entire world to. That man just shattered it.

“Mattered?” I whisper. “Mattered? I never fucking mattered, I know that now, but there was a second . . . a fucking second . . . I thought something had changed.”

Something flickers across his face but he pushes it back. “You thought wrong. You’re just a name on a piece of paper to me. You stupid, stupid, naive little girl.”

Whack.

His words are like a blow to the face.

“I don’t even fuckin’ like you.”

Whack.

“You never meant a fuckin’ thing.”

Whack.

“It was all a fuckin’ act.”

Whack.

“The Whole. Fucking. Lot. A lie.”

I fall backwards, landing with my hands behind me. Intense, pure, raw heartbreak rips through my soul. My head spins, my body is numb and there’s a pain in my heart I know will never leave. He has torn a hole into my very existence, and he’s ripped me out of it, stomped on me and then tossed me back in, bloody and broken.

“Leave, Katia.”

His voice is like a whip.

“What?”