Bianca Sparacino

If you feel like you cannot move on from whatever you are going through at the moment, remember this: Six months ago, or twelve months ago, or two years ago, you thought the same. You were in a position that threatened all that was hopeful within you; you did not think you would survive. But six months ago, or twelve months ago, or two years ago—you did. You did. You woke up in the morning. You pushed through the mess; you dug yourself out of the hurt. You held on to whatever light you found within your days; you pressed it into yourself whenever you could, reminding yourself that goodness still existed, that the softness was still there. Six months ago, or twelve months ago, or two years ago, you fought your way out of the dark. You have the strength to save yourself. You always have. Please don’t ever forget that.

All of the love you have given to the wrong people— it will find its way back to you.

To be soft is to be strong.

To be soft is to be strong.

Please, whatever you do—just feel what you are feeling right now. Do not reach into yourself and pull out what life has planted within you. Instead, reach into yourself and cradle it. Give it a home within you. Let is stay for as long as it needs. Do not rush it out the door. Just be with it. Whatever it is —whether it is a name, or a memory, or an ache that you cannot seem to part with. Do not harden yourself to what has affected you so deeply in life. This is the important part. Be thankful for it. Be thankful for the songs you hear that make your soul bubble over with nostalgia. Be thankful for the morning light and how it hits that one spot on your bed that holds the ghosted memory of someone who was once your favorite thing. Be thankful for your heart and how at one point, you could feel it beating against your rib cage for ten days straight because your bones were blushing at the thought of someone’s hand within yours. Let these moments seek refuge in your soul. Let them wash over you. Let them remind you that at one point, you embraced what it meant to love without abandon. Let them remind you that at one point, you tried for something.

Let these moments seek refuge in your soul. Let them wash over you. Let them remind you that at one point, you embraced what it meant to love without abandon. Let them remind you that at one point, you tried for something.

No, they didn’t leave you because they didn’t love you. They left you because they didn’t love themselves enough to believe that they could be different.

They forget that love is not something that should ever be done with one foot out the door. They forget that love should never be given in bare minimums.

I am not going to wait
for someone to make me whole.

Instead,

I am going to take all of the love

I have been giving everyone else,

and I am going to give

it to myself.

And I know that everything is temporary,

that all we have is fleeting—

emotions,

thoughts,

even human beings.

But it is hard not to get attached

to that which makes us feel like we have a purpose;

it is hard not to want to hold on

to all that makes us

feel real again.

But most of all, I hope you find yourself out there. I hope you figure out your heart, I hope you figure out your mind. I hope you learn how to be kind to yourself, how to embrace the journey you are on. I hope you learn how to be proud of the person you are becoming; I hope you learn how to be proud of where you are—even if it isn’t exactly where you want to be. I hope you learn to fall in love with the process, with the messiness of life and the confusion of it all.