Trust father of three William Shakespeare for all the advice you need for any parenting dilemma, in this witty and erudite guide—a handy collection of wisdom drawn from his most beloved works, from Hamlet to King Lear to Much Ado About Nothing.

With a series of cunningly extracted lines from his best-loved plays and sonnets, hilariously illustrated in a simple, almost child-like style, James Andrews proves once again that Shakespeare—expert on love, death, vanity, ambition, war, deceit, regret—is the font of all wisdom, including raising children.

Your thirsty toddler wakes you up at 3 a.m. Shakespeare describes your thoughts perfectly:

What cursed foot wanders this way tonight? (Romeo and Juliet)

Your child throws a temper tantrum, clinging to your legs. Shakespeare has the perfect response:

Vile thing, let loose, or I will shake thee from me like a serpent. (A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Your son throws a booze party, crashes the car, or commits some other vaguely humiliating infraction or minor illegal act. Shakespeare feels your pain:

Good wombs have borne bad sons. (The Tempest)

And for your fussy, ungrateful eater? Shakespeare has an answer:

I’ll make you feed on berries and on roots, and feed on curds and whey, and suck the goat! (Titus Andronicus)

Organized by periods of parenting hell—from the newborn nightmares to the teenage trials—Shakespeare’s Guide to Parenting is the perfect gift book for every literary parent or parent to be. If you want the last word with your children, nothing beats a quote from Shakespeare.