Lindsay C. Gibson

People who show anger by withdrawing love are particularly pernicious. The outcome of such behavior is that nothing gets solved and the other person just feels punished. In contrast, emotionally mature people will usually tell you what’s wrong and ask you to do things differently. They don’t sulk or pout for long periods of time or make you walk on eggshells. Ultimately, they’re willing to take the initiative to bring conflict to a close, rather than giving you the silent treatment.

If you’re interested in exploring whether you may have experienced emotional deprivation in childhood, the 1993 book Reinventing Your Life, by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko,

If you’re interested in exploring whether you may have experienced emotional deprivation in childhood, the 1993 book Reinventing Your Life, by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko,

Men and women alike will list the things they have to be thankful for, as if their life were an addition problem whose positive sum means nothing can be wrong.

People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first.

When people say, “You can’t have everything,” they’re really saying they don’t have what they need.

For every explanation she stumbled through, they countered with several reasons why she was wrong.

As he put it, “I’m not a very interesting person. I don’t know why Alexa likes me. I’m not exactly a nobody, but…” The way Ben’s voice trailed off indicated that he saw himself as someone who could easily be overlooked and taken for granted. Ben’s childhood experience of his mother’s rejection had clearly deflated his self-confidence. Further, it had convinced him that others would find his emotional needs as repugnant as his mother had

But no matter how much Natalie does, her mother still complains that Natalie has never loved her or helped her enough. Since childhood, Natalie has felt the responsibility for her mother’s emotional state. Meanwhile, Natalie was on her own because her mother wasn’t a person she could turn to.

Children like Natalie often grow up as little adults, helping their parents, giving them no trouble, and appearing to need practically nothing.