Jay Bell

“I’m all right.” She took a deep breath. “After Dad shoved Ronnie I got in between them and told Ronnie to leave. After he was gone I started arguing with Dad, and that’s when he hit me and I ran straight over here. I didn’t know where else to go.”

“I’m glad you came,” Ben said. “You should stay the night here.”

“Thanks.” Allison sniffed and sighed. “What are we going to do about this?”

Ben chewed his lip thoughtfully while they considered the situation in silence. Allison didn’t have any other in-state relatives, and the idea of her moving far away was unbearable. But how could she endure living with such a monster? What was to stop something like this from happening again?

“I wish we were already in college,” he said wistfully.

“You and me both. Have you decided yet?”

That was another unhappy topic. Ben wanted to continue his vocal training at an arts college that specialized in music. Allison wanted to pursue a medical career at one of the more traditional colleges. The inevitable separation if they chose different schools was something neither of them liked to think of, and now wasn’t the time to discuss it further.

“I have no idea,” Ben replied. “It’s all so far away. You want your PJs?”

“Yeah.”

Allison had stayed the night so often that she had bought a pair of pajamas to keep in his room. It was a miracle that her father had never figured out that she was actually staying the night with him and not Karen. Their former friendship had been useful camouflage in that regard.

The next day was a school day, which presented an awkward situation. Ben decided to confide in his mother, who wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as he would have expected. The bruise on Allison’s face was twice as ugly now and left no room for doubt as to the truth of her story, but it was clear that his mother wasn’t willing to interfere with someone else’s parenting. There was no point in asking her if Allison could stay with them longer, but she at least granted him permission to skip school for the day.

In the afternoon they decided to go to Allison’s house so she could get a change of clothes, despite the possibility that Mr. Cross might be there when they arrived. He wasn’t, but the house was in more disarray than normal, with food left out on the counter, dirty dishes, and a broken drinking glass on the kitchen floor. Ben helped her clean up before they went to her room.

“You should go,” Allison said. “There’s no point in me leaving.”

Allison was hesitant, but Ben managed to convince her. Only after she had gone was he free to question the soundness of his idea. Who did he think he was, an ambassador? What if Mr. Cross started beating the crap out of him? He could get killed!

The sound of the front door opening caused his stomach to churn. He should have at least left the house with Allison and returned to ring the doorbell. Now it looked like he was a burglar.

Ben left her room and walked to the head of the stairs. Mr. Cross was already looking upward, an expression of hope on his face that turned dark when he didn’t see his daughter.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he challenged.

“Allison and I came back to get her a change of clothes. She’s not here,” Ben added when Mr. Cross started up the stairs with a determined look on his face, “but she told me everything.”

Mr. Cross stopped, and for the briefest moment, there was shame in his eyes. It marked the end of Ben’s fear of the man. Ben walked down the stairs until he was face to face with Allison’s father.

“She told me everything, but she would never tell the police,” Ben continued. “I would though, and I won’t hesitate to if you ever lay a hand on her again.”

“You little brat.” Mr. Cross’s hand snatched out and grabbed Ben by the shirt.

Ben didn’t even flinch.

“Go ahead and hit me,” he suggested. “I’ll go to the police today, and you’ll never harm anyone again. Not me and not Allison.”

“They’d never believe you,”

“Get out of my house, you little punk!”

“No. Not before I’ve had my say. Allison loves you, Mr. Cross. She would do anything to make you happy. I think you love her, too, but the way you try to protect her is doing more harm than good. You need to let her go. One more year and she’s going to be living on her own in a different city. You won’t be able to control her then. You can’t treat her like a bird in a cage. If you do, she’ll never come back to you once she’s free. She’ll be out of your life forever.”

Much to Ben’s amazement, Allison’s father seemed to be listening. The anger had drained from Mr. Cross face and he looked like he was about to cry. Ben had obviously hit upon his worst fears.

“I’m sorry you lost your wife, and I can’t even begin to imagine how much that must hurt, but you still have your daughter. She might be the only person left in the world who still loves you. If you destroy that, who will you be? What will be left of you then?”

Mr. Cross’s face crumpled as his tears began to flow.

Ben made his way to the front door, ignoring the sobbing behind him. “She’ll be home in a few hours,” he said. “Don’t screw it up.”

His love for Tim was real. Ben had lusted after his body, yearned to belong to him, and later simply enjoyed whiling away the hours with him, but all that had evolved into something much more meaningful. He wished the current situation was appropriately romantic so he could say those words to Tim, but it wasn’t. He would wait until the right time. Until then, Ben would resign himself to expressing his love in a way that didn’t involve words.

With the coming of a new year, Ben felt himself reinvented. He enjoyed more freedom than ever, was in an increasingly serious relationship, and had even found employment. Ben had taken a part-time job at Zounders, a local supermarket

Ben knew it was true, and he might have felt ashamed had he done it alone. Instead he cherished the Bonnie and Clyde moment that he and Tim had shared together. He enjoyed playing the martyr, too. He had made a sacrifice, taken a bullet for his lover. In his mind it was the perfect expression of how he felt about Tim

Allison wasn’t in school the next day, which was worrying. She had returned home yesterday, giving Ben a short call in the evening to say that she was all right, and that her father was upset but not at her. Ben thought everything was going to be okay, but now a number of terrifying scenarios were playing out in his mind. What if Mr. Cross had left the state with her? Even worse, maybe he had killed her before taking his own life.

As soon as he was home, Ben called but there was no answer. He kept trying every half hour until, a little past nine, Allison finally picked up the phone.

“Are you all right?” Ben stammered.

“Yeah.” There was a hesitation. “Great, actually. What did you say to my dad?”

“Why?”

“Well, he’s like a different person. He apologized to me all day yesterday, and today he took off work so we could have a father/daughter day.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Allison laughed. “I’m even allowed to see you again!”

Ben wanted to cry in relief. “Did he say why?”

“Something about how protective you are of me, but he didn’t seem to want to talk about it. What did you say?”

Ben considered telling her everything, but ultimately decided to give her an edited version. He didn’t want her to think that her father’s actions were the result of blackmail. Ben didn’t want to believe that either. He liked to think that he had appealed to Mr. Cross’s heart and that everything would be fine from now on. That didn’t sound very realistic though. Ben would never be able to let his guard down again.

Ben admired his new pocket watch.

The watch was silver with erratic maroon lines carved tastefully into its surface. He pressed the button on top and the watch face swung open to reveal the time, which was already correctly set at 6:34 a.m. This was their tardiest Christmas yet! Usually Ben and his sister would wake their parents and be under the tree by five.

“You can use that watch to get home at a decent time,” his mother teased.

Ben smiled and thanked her before digging around for another present with his name on it. Not that he was lacking anything. He had gotten his PlayStation, even more games, new clothes, gift certificates, a couple of books, and a wallet. There was still more to be opened, though. His mother always went overboard when it came to Christmas.

Ben didn’t need her to explain what she was talking about, since it had been the only topic between the two of them for the better part of a week. Tim’s parents were in the Pompanos for the holidays, leaving their son to fend for himself. Ben didn’t know how they could do that, but he was told this wasn’t the first Christmas they were absent for.

“You know why I want to go over there,” Ben said patiently. “It’s going to be romantic.”

“But I still don’t see why he can’t eat Christmas dinner with us,” his mom countered. “You two can go back to his place in the evening and have your time.”

Ben smiled and shook his head. How could he truthfully tell her that being around family was one of the biggest mood killers? As much as he loved them, it was hard to maintain an amorous state of mind when Grandpa was telling stories of his mall Santa days or while defending Tim from Karen’s constant teasing. Ben’s mom might be respectful and give them their space, but the others were oblivious to such social graces.

“It’s just one Christmas,” Ben reassured her. “It’s not going to become a tradition.”

There was no winning with her, so in the end Ben promised to stay for Christmas dinner, which wasn’t so hard considering it took place in the early afternoon. As it turned out, he was glad he stayed. Aside from being there to receive even more presents from his relatives, he also was provided with enough leftovers to keep him and Tim fed for a week. In fact, it was too much to carry when Tim’s present was added to the equation, and Ben had to accept a ride from his dad just to make it there.

Tim was in a solemn mood when he arrived, which was no surprise considering the situation. Ben stowed away the food before kicking the house into gear. He put Christmas music on the stereo and sang to it while walking around the house and turning on all the decorative lights. He added his present to the multitude under the soulless, department store tree.