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Debra K. Fileta

True Love Dates

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  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Should you ever date someone you wouldn’t marry? My personal answer is no. There is little to be gained from dating someone you would never marry that you couldn’t glean from being friends with them. Instead of dating someone you would never marry, invest in healthy friendships and reap the same rewards without running additional risks
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Because my husband has a relationship with Jesus, I can trust that this higher calling in his life will challenge and motivate him to love me, to forgive me, and to serve me, even when his hurt emotions are telling him not to. And it does. He loves me in a way that no human can possibly love on his own. Because it’s not his own. God is at work in his life, producing fruit that I can fully trust, honor, and give myself to. Our relationship with God binds us together spiritually, but it also enables us to love each other unconditionally. I can’t imagine giving myself to a man who is motivated by anything less than that divine calling
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    First John 4:18 explains that “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”
    There may be no room for fear in love, but there is always room for attraction. Attraction is the mutual drawing of two human beings to one another. It signals affection, connection, and interest chat is sometimes subtle — and sometimes strong. It is the precursor to all that is good in a relationship, leading two people to establish intimacy and exclusivity within their relationship. Attraction is important; in fact, it’s crucial. But it must never be confused with that head-over-heels feeling.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Attraction may have opened the door, but action kept it open. And love was born. True love. Real love. Lasting love. Because stronger than love at first sight is choosing love thereafter.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Love at first sight is never complete love, because it is based on an emotion rather than a commitment, a feeling rather than a choice. True love is born when two people commit to offer themselves for the sake of the other person. It is a process of growth that deepens a couple’s bond.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    The moral of this story is that lifestyle values have a significant effect on a relationship. The greater the difference between two people’s lifestyle preferences, the more relational stress there will be.
    Search for someone who believes in your passions and appreciates your goals, who understands your long-term perspective and acknowledges the sacrifices that it will entail. Find someone who has realistic expectations and is ready for the give-and-take that comes when two people with separate lives are joined. And just as important as finding such a person is becoming a person like this yourself.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Spiritually toxic. There are two kinds of spiritually toxic relationships. The first is a relationship with someone who stands outside of your religious beliefs, typically someone who does not respect your faith and spirituality. This person’s behavior could include verbally degrading your beliefs and dishonoring your values by doing things around you that you aren’t comfortable with. It’s a passive toxicity in that it distracts you, discourages you, and corrodes your relationship with God.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Sexually toxic. A sexually toxic relationship leads you into sexual acts that leave you feeling guilt and shame. In such relationships, the majority of the relationship is centered on sexual experience. Sometimes sexually toxic relationships include forced and manipulated sexual acts. Sexually toxic relationships erode the meaning of sex, using it as a tool for selfish gain and pleasure.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    Physically toxic. When people think of a toxic relationship, they typically think of a physically toxic relationship. Many toxic relationships begin with emotional and mental components and slowly make their way into the physical — manipulation and control by way of bodily harm. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, spitting, pushing, and shoving. In a physically toxic relationship, one’s partner uses their hands and bodies for destruction and devastation, not as instruments of healing.
  • evihar citeretfor 6 år siden
    • Mentally toxic. Mentally toxic relationships plant seeds of negativity in your mind. Your partner puts you down and criticizes you rather than lifts you up and encourages you. This verbal abuse includes constant criticism, dishonesty, cursing, name-calling, and degrading. In a mentally toxic relationship, your partner devalues you and tears you down
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