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Quicklet On Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish's How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

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Before I read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, my communication with my children left a lot to be desired. As a mother of two I have faced many of the frustrations that come with parent-child communication, from power struggles to tantrums. Faber and Mazlish's astounding text took my communication efforts to new levels by introducing me to a means of talking to my children that I had not considered before.

Although I have always considered myself to be a good mom, some of the approaches I took towards resolving situations like tantrums and arguments were actually making the situation worse. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk brought an entirely new approach to our family home. Rather than condescending to my children, lecturing, and demoralizing them through harsh words, I learned to adapt my approach so that they were treated as equals. Simple language adaptations allowed me to do this, and although I struggled to drop my old habits at first, I eventually learned to communicate in a way that changed our family home for the better.

Faber and Mazlish encourage respect, non-patronizing language, cooperation, praise and, an empowering approach to talking and listening to children. After reading their book, I felt as though much of it was common sense.


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The approach Faber and Mazlish take to parenting is one that encourages independence in children. The most popular and long-standing approach to raising kids has always been one that forces a dominant role on the adult, but that does not always work. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is a book that encourages a sense of mutual respect between parents and their children.

The main foundation for taking on a new approach to parental communication appears to be empathizing. The authors quite rightly point out that children just need to be understood. While parents have known this for a while, they have not always been familiar with the approaches that they must take to ensure that their children feel as though they understand them. Faber and Mazlish focus on simple linguistic techniques that help achieve a sense of empathy.

In addition to encouraging empathy, Faber and Mazlish look at how parents can bring consistency to their children's lives. Although as a parent it is natural to feel that daily routines are bringing the consistency that many experts believe will enhance your children's way of living, it is easy to trip up when it comes to maintaining a consistent approach in terms of communication. It is easy to be attentive and respectful to your child one day, and to be rushed and patronizing the next. Most parents do not realize that they are doing this, and the authors of this book do a great job of explaining how this happens without you knowing it.

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