Darkside Zodiac: Libra

You were teacher’s pet at school, and it doesn’t take you more than a toss of your curls to be the boss’s pet at work. (You have never seen anything wrong with the casting-couch system

You adore luxury and lovely things, but feel sure there must be easier ways to get them than by the sweat (yuck!) of your beautifully Botoxed brow

It’s rubbish about you looking for a soulmate to achieve cosmic balance—you’ve already got one; it lives in your mirror

Mars in Libra
Even though you claim to have no conception of that time of day, if anybody comes between you and what you want, it’s stilettoes at dawn

Venus in Scorpio
Permanently hot and lecherous, you are always up for dirtying the satin sheets in glossy hotels, preferably with someone illicit and unsuitable, because after sex you love a long, indulgent soak in muddy emotional waters

Pisces rising
Little ol’ me? I can’t decide which luxury yacht I need; you must do it for me

Moon in Sagittarius—after a couple of sweet Martinis at the embassy your inner tactless oaf overpowers your outer diplomat