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Lisa Taddeo

Three Women

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    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Lina’s hormone doctor told her that if people are denied certain parts of relationships they need as children, they hunt for these parts as adults. When the mother has a heavy hand, he told her, the children might see sex being used as a commodity. And a lot of shame comes out of a household like that. Lina feels a lot of shame about sex; she sees in herself the signs of somebody running into every taboo she can find to see if it’s real or not. Her doctor told her he thinks that comes from not having had a close relationship with her father.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Everything her mother did was what she thought was best, as all mothers do—invisible service in the shadows of the things for which they themselves had longed.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Her hormone doctor has told her what he believes her problem is. He has said, Lina, you come from a place where women are taught that their only real value is what they can do for someone else. When you are actively living for yourself, you feel less pain.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    We pretend to want things we don’t want so nobody can see us not getting what we need
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    sometimes we worry so much about what frightens us that we wait to have an orgasm until we are alone
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    it’s women, in many of the stories I’ve heard, who have greater hold over other women than men have. We can make each other feel dowdy, whorish, unclean, unloved, not beautiful. In the end, it all comes down to fear
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    I think about how much I have wanted from men. How much of that wanting was what I wanted from myself, from other women, even; how much of what I thought I wanted from a lover came from what I needed from my own mother.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Often the type of waiting women do is to make sure other women approve, so that they may also approve of themselves.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Throughout history, men have broken women’s hearts in a particular way. They love them or half-love them and then grow weary and spend weeks and months extricating themselves soundlessly, pulling their tails back into their doorways, drying themselves off, and never calling again.
    b1093378077har citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    One inheritance of living under the male gaze for centuries is that heterosexual women often look at other women the way a man would.
    Nina Vyvcharukhar citeretsidste år
    Everything her mother did was what she thought was best, as all mothers do—invisible service in the shadows of the things for which they themselves had longed.
    Nina Vyvcharukhar citeretsidste år
    the hotel room this night, she feels ecstatically pain-free. She will tell the discussion group later, with the confidence of someone who has nothing to lose, I’m not in any pain when I’m with that man. I feel wonderful. So you can judge me for being with Aidan, you can all judge me. But I found something to take the pain away and until you have felt my pain, you shouldn’t judge me. Women shouldn’t judge one another’s lives, if we haven’t been through one another’s fires.
    Nina Vyvcharukhar citeretsidste år
    Some people, Maggie thinks, live their lives as if they are sure they’re going to get another one. One more chance to be cool and popular or smart and rich and have a lot of sex. They act as though it’s okay to hang back on this one, and merely watch it like a movie.
    Nina Vyvcharukhar citeretsidste år
    One inheritance of living under the male gaze for centuries is that heterosexual women often look at other women the way a man would.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    “The world wanted to think that this nice-looking man wouldn’t have done what he did,” Arlene says. “It made them feel safe to defend him.”
    Indeed it is the same world that wants to keep lauding only those who have already been lauded, those who have, throughout history, been accepted.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    There’s nothing safer than wanting nothing.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    Even when women are being heard, it is often only the right types of women who are actively heard. White ones. Rich ones. Pretty ones. Young ones. Best to be all those things at once.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    Something is going to work out. Something always does.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    Even when women fight back, they must do it correctly. They must cry the right amount and look pretty but not hot.
    lizaarshinova98har citeretsidste år
    She doesn’t trust anyone, but there is also the danger that she still might trust too much.
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