Insight

we’re quick to accuse others of being unaware, but we rarely (if ever) ask ourselves whether we have the same problem

knowledge blindness can be

Ironically, the more expertise we think we have, the more harmful

And just as our self-views become increasingly jumbled and complex, we begin to spend an almost unreasonable amount of time wondering what others think of us.

Even if you dare not speak truth to others, never lie to yourself.

ACCEPTING WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE AND CHANGING WHAT WE CAN

is it really our responsibility to shock others into awareness? And even more fundamentally, is it even possible?
The truth is that challenging a delusional person can be risky at best and disastrous at worst. Remember, almost everyone thinks they’re above average, morally upstanding, and supremely self-aware—and the most delusional can be the least receptive to hearing otherwise.

Giving feedback ground rules:

1. Avoid generalities (“you always” or “you never”).
2. Focus on the behavior rather than the person.
3. Don’t give your interpretations of others’ behavior—just the behavior itself.
4. Provide examples.

Getting feedback ground rules*5:

1. No pushback or defensiveness: be curious and remember that perception is reality.
2. Take notes and ask questions only for clarification.
3. Be open-minded and assume good intentions.
4. Thank your team members. Giving feedback isn’t easy!

Process (20 minutes per person)

• Prepare feedback
• Deliver question 1 feedback (30 seconds per question)
• Deliver questions 2 and 3 feedback (30 seconds per question)
• Questions for clarification
Then I explained how it would work: each person would give feedback to each other person at the table by answering three questions—and everyone would have the chance to ask for clarification on the feedback they’d been given at the end of their turn. The nine participants would be randomly assigned to one of three groups, and the exercise would progress in rounds, with short breaks in between. At the end, we would take some time to process and debrief.