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Jia Tolentino

Trick Mirror

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    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 8 måneder siden
    women—who, as John Berger wrote, have always been required to maintain an external awareness of their own identity—
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    “Somehow, that seems strange to me though,” he wrote. “The Web is the place for you to express your thoughts and feelings and such. To put those things elsewhere seems absurd.”
    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    first, how the internet is built to distend our sense of identity; second, how it encourages us to overvalue our opinions; third, how it maximizes our sense of opposition; fourth, how it cheapens our understanding of solidarity; and, finally, how it destroys our sense of scale.
    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    the worst things about the internet were now determining, rather than reflecting, the worst things about offline life.
    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    These deranged takes, and their unnerving proximity to online monetization, are case studies in the way that our world—digitally mediated, utterly consumed by capitalism—makes communication about morality very easy but makes actual moral living very hard.
    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    As more people began to register their existence digitally, a pastime turned into an imperative: you had to register yourself digitally to exist.
    Nora de la Cruzhar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    what women seemed to want from feminist websites—a “trick mirror that carries the illusion of flawlessness as well as the self-flagellating option of constantly finding fault.”
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    “All the world is not, of course, a stage, but the crucial ways in which it isn’t are not easy to specify,” Goffman wrote.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    The internet is also in large part inextricable from life’s pleasures: our friends, our families, our communities, our pursuits of happiness, and—sometimes, if we’re lucky—our work. In part out of a desire to preserve what’s worthwhile from the decay that surrounds it, I’ve been thinking about five intersecting problems: first, how the internet is built to distend our sense of identity; second, how it encourages us to overvalue our opinions; third, how it maximizes our sense of opposition; fourth, how it cheapens our understanding of solidarity; and, finally, how it destroys our sense of scale.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    I’ll admit that I’m not sure that this inquiry is even productive. The internet reminds us on a daily basis that it is not at all rewarding to become aware of problems that you have no reasonable hope of solving. And, more important, the internet already is what it is. It has already become the central organ of contemporary life. It has already rewired the brains of its users, returning us to a state of primitive hyperawareness and distraction while overloading us with much more sensory input than was ever possible in primitive times.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 9 måneder siden
    Mass media always determines the shape of politics and culture. T
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    “Somehow, that seems strange to me though,” he wrote. “The Web is the place for you to express your thoughts and feelings and such. To put those things elsewhere seems absurd.”
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    The internet, in promising a potentially unlimited audience, began to seem like the natural home of self-expression. In
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    I began to realize that all my life I’ve been leaving myself breadcrumbs. It didn’t matter that I didn’t always know what I was walking toward. It was worthwhile, I told myself, just trying to see clearly, even if it took me years to understand what I was trying to see.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    These essays are about the spheres of public imagination that have shaped my understanding of myself, of this country, and of this era.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    I wrote this book because I am always confused, because I can never be sure of anything, and because I am drawn to any mechanism that directs me away from that truth. Writing is either a way to shed my self-delusions or a way to develop them.
    Mariana de los Santoshar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    n who is plausibly trustworthy, intuitive, and clear.

    It’s exactly this habit—or compulsion—that makes me suspect that I am fooling myself.
    Ana Briceñohar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family,” reads the final paragraph of the decision. “In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were … It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law
    Ana Briceñohar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    For my part, I have stopped feeling guilty about not wanting to marry such a marriageable person. I now understand that it is an extremely ordinary and unremarkable thing to feel overwhelmed by weddings, or even averse to them
    Ana Briceñohar citeretfor 10 måneder siden
    Our lives are full of pleasure but almost completely stripped of mass ritual: we don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day, or celebrate an “anniversary,” or give each other Christmas presents, or put up a tree
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